7:04 pm—Go on a run and purchase America Budweiser bottles (as if I would buy anything else..) and don my American Flag shorts, bandana, and bag. It’s AMERICUHH mixer time baby.
9:45 pm—Finish six pack at pre game and head to our first mixer of the year.
11:00 pm—After chanting USA countless times, stumble out of Americaland and head to a bar with a different frat. Take a shot when I arrive and call the freshman from my high school to invite him to come out.
11:34 pm--Take over the dance floor with random frat guy. People start applauding.
11:37 pm—Freshman from high school arrives and TOTALLY COCKBLOCKS dancing frat guy.
11:40 pm—Determined not to get cock-blocked, ditch Freshman and leave bar with dancing frat friend.
11:53 pm—Go to next bar and immediately start swing dancing again.
1:30 am—Arrive at frat boys apartment.
4:22 am—Leave frat boys apartment. Leave name and number on a post-it on desk.
4:42 am— Finally get home after being turned down by four cabs. My taxi driver and I talked about Chuck Norris.
7:50 am—Alarm goes off.
9:00 am—Leave my apartment. Head to library to meet girls to go to New Jersey.
9:05 am—Get picked up in a white stretch limousine. Get handed a bottle of white wine by the driver. Cheers!!
9:35—Lurk Facebook to figure out who I was with last night. Turns out he was dating a girl who just disaffiliated from my sorority. Accidentally friend request frat boy. Immediately cancel request. I am a crazy stalker. Fuck my life.
12:00 pm—GO SURFING IN NEW JERSEY. Ride a wave backwards while sitting on the tail with a shaka in the air. I am a bro.
3:00 pm—Go do Jewish stuff for the New Year.
9:30 am—Go to school all day.
10:47 pm—Receive call from random number.
10:48 pm—Answer call.
11:07 pm—Finish call.
IT WAS FRAT BOY.